Why We Make Assumptions and Avoid Hard Conversations

If your desire is to have a successful relationship, discussing things in person with your partner is imperative.

The consequence of this is the feeling of betrayal often experienced. People feel betrayed when their partners does something contrary to their held assumption. This is the case despite the fact that their partner had no clue at all.

When you meet and develop attraction for someone new, chances are they will know some of the major assumptions about you. These may at least be the ones that your new partner believes might be areas of contention for both of you.

Not everybody has the same thoughts as you, and that includes even the closest people to you. And as you very well know, not everybody follows the social codes that you feel are important.

Thus, it’s important to talk about your individual “unwritten codes” early on in a new relationship. Hold discussions about what exactly are the things you find acceptable and unacceptable?

This seems like essentially pre-loading the hard conversations early on in the relationship. And you wouldn’t be any further from the truth.

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