An Honest Reflection on the Real Reason I Chose Christianity

Never choose a religion based on fear

The decision on what my soul would believe was not wrapped in my own home traditions, or some near-death -experience and not even a reflective meditative journey.

It began with a horrifying play that wrecked havoc on my sense of reality.

Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames.

That’s what it was called.

I was a teen, and remember the church was large as a Coliseum and dark with a huge crowd. I sat between my father and his friend, my sister was on the other side of us and with quiet anticipation, the curtains rose on stage and there was the interplay of the Devil tempting mere humans to do sinful things.

There were the tall angels in white that lit up the stage and a huge Book of Life on a tall podium where a(white) angel with brown hair, read out everyone’s names and told them if they were destined for heaven.

I remember feeling an exact fear when the person who was good but not Saved, was condemned to go straight to hell.

Of course, the bad guy went to hell, he was just all-around bad, listening to the devil and whatnot.

That part did not scare me though. What scared me was knowing that my helping others or apologizing when I’ve hurt someone, did not amount to much unless I recited a few words.

Moments after the play ended, the Pastor or whoever, asked the audience:

I did not have to think very long.

My sister and I went down the carpeted steps together, brown bodies wrapped around shaky souls in the dimly lit aisle. We were dying to self now and will emerge new from the sea of people worshiping the Lord.

My father at that time, did not come down to prayer.

We were ushered to the stage with nearly 100 other scared people.

We recited the timeless prayer:

“I am a sinner and I now confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead,.”

I’m sure there were more and other varied versions of this but it is the basis of how many of us counted ourselves saved.

From that day forth, I did feel different. I felt that I have side-stepped hell like an open gutter on the street and that Jesus will protect me from all kinds of hurts. He may even make me shine more and help me keep my straight A honor roll.

On top of that, my aunt gave me a cool Teen Study bible that remained by my side at night. It had officially replaced my teddy bears and I would use a flashlight to read the Psalms(my favorite) over and over again.

Here’s the thing though.

When I look back on it, was my faith in Christ genuine or based on a feeling? Some would argue that the feeling should be ignored, at least I gave my life to Christ. But what did I give though?

If someone told me: “If you don’t put on this harness before bungee jumping, you could very well die.”

I’d put on said harness quickly to avoid being a statistic…and avoid being a puddle of bones and blood.

But after falling and bouncing back up to safety….what now? I did it to protect myself but I don’t worship bungee jumping or would never do it again. It was an avoidance thing.

You’ve heard the terms before: Angry Christians, hypocritical Christians, Sex deprived Christians.

I can’t speak for all of them, but I know I backslid because I did not fall in love with Christ organically, or search for him, or learn of him by reading the bible fully. It was a relationship based on fear of hell. Not on a love of God.

It’s like in the movie Head of State when Chris Rock said, “I want the people to vote for me and not against[my enemy].”

I want to fall for Christ and not just fear hell. When I love, I want to love the hell out of people. I am nearly 40 and just now reflecting on what falling for Christ really means.

Those who came to Christ through reading the Word or divine intervention, I envy you. It was not a “Fear tactic” used to get you to come to Christ or join a church.

To be fair, the church play was filled with God-loving people who genuinely wants us saved, and I am forever grateful.

It’s just that now I have to be more thoughtful.

Let me know your thoughts below and subscribe if you like these kinds of articles.

Ciao!

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